What if everything you thought about with how things should be was illusions. What if the being rich, successful, and happily ever after was all an illusion? Or what if what you thought would make you happy, is not the thing that would make you happy? Would you be ok with that?
I heard this in a youtube video once that "our body holds about 800 years worth of genetically and energetic information". And that’s what has been discovered so far. If you believe in reincarnation, you could probably argue it might be even longer. Cultural conditioning, genetical conditioning...those are things. So the question is, would it be possible to really understand what we want in our lives? Would someone be able to really figure out what’s important for them truly? The answer would be YES. And that would require a lot of work.
I met someone who’s polyamory. It wasn’t the first time I’m meeting someone polyamory, but this is the first time I’m really trying to understand what that means. I had little to no idea of what that meant to be honest. What I had was an idea or concept of what that sounds like. “They have a fear of commitment”. I heard that before. Having multiple partners didn’t mean a good thing to me up until this point in my life. I was in a committed relationship for over 10 years. When it ended, I felt like I was going through a divorce. Let’s face it, being with someone for 10 years that’s longer than lots of marriages nowadays. Being in a committed, monogamy, hetro-sexual relationship. That is what my parents have. That’s the condition I was raised in. That’s what I perceived what a good relationship should look like growing up. That’s what I would imagine everyone would have. I was the one that loves to play with kids, wanting to have kids & family. And everybody else around me thought that I would be the first one in my family & cousins to do so. But obviously they were dead wrong. I’m 35 years old, still single and no kids. When people ask me if I want to have kids, I answer “I’m not sure”. So in old traditional sense, I pretty much failed in following the path of what “Happy life” look like every steps of the way. And I’m happy to say that I’m glad that I’m where I am now and wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Having a background in theatre, musical theatre to be exact, I have a lots of friends who are proud members of LGBTQIA, another new territory for me as a Japanese Immigrant who moved out here by choice, as an adult. They have told me so much about becoming and loving myself. They are strong. They are resilient. They are courageous. And most importantly, I LOVE my friends. As a hopeless romantic that I am, maybe because I didn’t have to worry about falling in love with them and being my heart crashed. Maybe because I knew that they understand my feeling of being an outcast and still wanting to belong. Or be as sassy as I wanted and they didn’t care. It felt more safe and comfortable. One of my very first friend moving out here, he was my first gay-husband on stage. We played opposite of each others in many scenes, shows, songs. We developed a few shows together. When you can just let go and connect as a human through art and heart, how simple life can be. Even when we had disagreement, we were able to communicate well. Because we wanted to make the best art possible. He really taught me a different type of friendship I hadn’t experienced before.
After the first conversation that I had with my new friend, I decided to study. I listened to a few podcast, looked into TEDtalk about what polyamory means. One thing that really stood up for me was the importance of the depth communication. I honestly think that what I was hearing didn’t really have to be about polyamory. I hope it was a communication and conversation about human relationship. You identify your relationship the way that it works for you. You set a boundary. You communicate with your people. And relationship doesn’t have to mean “romantic relationship”. It could mean friendship, family, and coworkers… ANY relationship. Instead of what we have been conditioned to see how those relationship should be, you identify what you want it to look like.
Now, hear me out.
There is a difference between ETHICAL relationships and NON-ETHICAL relationships. You could be polyamory and still cheat or be cheated on if you’re not ethical or honest about the communication. Again, that is the conversation about human relationship. That has absolutely NOTHING has to do with a relationship being polyamory or monogamy. It’s a HUMAN thing. It’s that simple. It’s just that simple.
I truly believe in the saying of “How you do anything is how you do everything”. If you can do something that you are not used to the same way you do something that you’re super passionate about, how would your life look like? If you can unlearn and undo all the conditioning, how would you want to live your life? Are you living the life that you want live? As Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements says, we’ve been domesticated without knowing. The unveiling starts with asking questions like “What else?”, “Or not?”, “What if?”… When was the last time you asked yourself a question just a little deeper? Has that thought even occurred to you? Let us be curious, be open and be willing. It takes some type of catalyst to break the cycle that’ll make you wonder. So let me ask you this question as I go..
“What if there’s nothing wrong with you?”
I want to hear from you.
Love and light